Being back home.

Wow... So I am really back. The plane ride took about 30+ hours. I basically slept for the entire time and watched about 4 movies... so it was rough.. but not as deathly impossible as many people put it! I cannot tell you how good it feels to be reunited with my friends and family back home. I feel that I am in the honeymoon stage of it all. Reuniting with people and family again is just amazing and I feel so comfortable.

There has been a lot of new "firsts" for me since being back. It feels very different and at times, awkward, to have the power to call or contact someone within a second (with my cell phone) and to go to a fridge and have all my favorite items inside waiting for me to devour. Driving a car is surreal and especially on the same roads that I had driven on day in and day out so long before. I have used a straightener and a curling iron for the first time on my hair in 4 months.

It seems like it has been such a long time since I was in Africa... with all of my friends. That is something that has probably been one of the weirdest things to try to adjust to. I made some of the best and deepest friendships with the 50 of us who studied their last semester. I saw them every single day....They really turned into my family and not being able to just walk over to one of their "chalet's" and have a "talk" is something I am not quite sure I like. haha. I have not yet added all of their numbers to my cell phone so every time I want to talk to one of them I am in a hole because I have to use a cell phone! My whole outlook on cell phones has changed tremendously. The truth is... I do not like having one at the moment. I hate that I have to use it... And texting multiple people at once is exhausting. I really think I've enjoyed and learned to just "be." I have been shown what it is like to have no distractions within a conversation. I love slowing down... And having the chance to really connect with people minus a phone. I remember before coming to South Africa, I would not let my cell phone ever leave my side. I would be talking with friends and family with it in my hands and half listening to them. I carried it with me all over the house whether I was upstairs or downstairs. haha... My sister, two days ago, came running upstairs with my phone after it went off and said, "You really have changed, haven't you?" and when she gave it to me, I didn't even want it. So that is something I really am trying to learn how to balance and come to a median with... Because it is just so crazy how much cell phones are a part of our society and our main way of communicating.

Something that I have been trying to be able to do... but I find is nearly impossible, is to give the things I experienced and the amazing people I met in Africa justice. I find that sometimes I am overwhelmed with the question, "How was being in South Africa??!?" I struggle with that question because that question can probably be answered in a couple of hours and with a whole stretch of emotions integrated within it. I could tell you it was so much fun, but then I'd be lying about the pain and heartache I felt to see the way so many people live... to see the reality for many of the lives there. I could tell you it was the best and worst experience of my life. I did not enjoy seeing all the poverty...I did not enjoy witnessing and hearing stories about the child's lives' we were working with every day... Kids being abused, not having meals, going to bed hungry... The list goes on and on. And the point I am trying to get at is that this experience was the best thing I could have asked for. I am on a journey to figuring out what to do with it all. And not wanting to conform back to living "comfortably." Probably one of the biggest principles I learned while being in South Africa was that being a christian should not be easy. This got me thinking... Before coming to Africa, I was living life so easily and considered myself a Christian, however, I was not challenging myself in any way, shape, or form.

When I show people pictures and videos of Ethembeni and of all the faces that crossed my path, my mind floods with memories and I crave to go back so much. I miss them and it makes me tear up just thinking of all of those kids and every single staff member at the family center.

I hope and cannot wait for the day I return to the family center...But Ethembeni needs your help, whoever is reading this. They are struggling financially with their donations and have since shut down their open hours for the kids to come and receive meals and fellowship from 5 days to 3 days a week. For some of these kids, the family center is the only stable thing in their life... If it is on your heart to help in any way, let me know!!

Thanks to all of you who followed along on my journey... it really means a lot and I hope that you were able to share some of the same experiences as I did from reading it :)
love, Jamie